The Champs-Elysées is known as the World’s most beautiful avenue by people who haven’t updated their guidebooks in 45 years. Last we checked, there were some car dealerships, a McD’s, a movie theater screening flicks at 30€ a ticket and a Sephora. Arc de Triomphe is worth the hype, even though you missed it being wrapped by our dearly departed Christo and his chérie Jeanne-Claude. Of the many phallic symbols in Paris, the Egyptian obelisk at Concorde is the oldest by far. Yet it’s the surrounding neighborhood that is awash in Viagra as Paris’ 1%-er fossils scavenge for their newest trophy wife. In fact, your dear editor-in-chief narrowly escaped becoming such a trophy wife during a Tinder date with a dashing Frenchman claiming to be connected to Sarkozy. He insisted on buying her a diamond bracelet from one of the shops on Place Vendôme.