Dominated by the Musée du Louvre and the Tuileries Gardens, the first arrondissement is ze grandest zone in ze sea of grandiosity that is central Paris. It’s the center point of our glittering metropolis, just above the Seine river; kind of like a beating heart that strums with dusty, windswept, elegance. See below for a curated map of the places worth visiting besides Le Musée du You-Know-What.
This neighborhood is all about the Louvre Museum. You might as well go in (not right now: reserve first! Since the Big Cooties started they usually require a reservation to ensure entry) and bask in the opulence of its stunning works of art – some, at least, as there are approximately 400,000 of them. Head over to Cédric Grolet’s pâtisserie takeaway for an after-Louvre treat, to the Tuileries Garden for some greenery or to Rue de Rivoli for taking it all in. Don’t be tempted by the souvenir shops under the arcades, they’re all ‘made in China’ trinkets. For souvenir shopping, go north to the Second instead, to the Empreintes ‘Made in France’ shop. And don’t miss the beautiful La Samaritaine department store: Its years-long renovation has put it back on the map as a prime shopping epicenter. The main bonus is that you get to gaze at a fabulous Art Nouveau ceiling in all its flowery glory for ~free~
This is the Parisian waterfront. You want to stroll down the river Seine, you need to stroll down the river Seine—Parisians love it and when the weather is cooperating, are there all of the time—a result of the unique development of the Berges de Seine over the last few years. The former mayor had the brilliant idea to turn two lanes of highway into a pedestrian and bike-only zone… and soon followed barges dedicated to drinking and eating, sidewalk dj sets, chillax zones, and climbing walls that you can dip into as the sun sets over the glittering river Seine. OK, so now car traffic is hellish but that’s what all the share bikes are for…
Les Halles is very central, very historic and very energetic. It’s the neighborhood that almost never sleeps. Centuries ago, it was a sprawling food and wares market. Now it’s a sprawling underground shopping center surrounded by street performers (watch out for pickpockets), mainstream stores, an iconic cathedral (the wildly-underrated Saint Eustache), modern gardens and two fantastic art museums (Collection Pinault for contemporary art and, not too far east, the world-famous Centre Pompidou). And most importantly, beaucoup late-night dining…
Oh, Place Vendôme, thou art so fancy but so cold, and barren. It’s best to appreciate you from the comfort of a bicycle seat, circling your central column several times like some fertility ritual giving alms at yet another phallic French monument (French architects did not spare the rod when they reconstructed the city and one supposes that the 1800s were a kind of zenith for straight things pointing ~oh, so unsubtly~ at the sky…) while gazing over at the Ritz and …the beautiful lamp posts? And then heading over to the nearby Rue Saint-Honoré and the Palais Royal for a cozier (but still luxe) shopping and dining experience. Resist the blitz of press urging you to visit the Ritz’ new pâtisserie—we found it to be a touristy and unwelcoming. Aside from the PR machine buzz, the lines are long, the seating is poorly planned and we found the staff (at least on the day we dared visit) to be incredibly rude, even by Paris standards.
Some Place Vendôme overshare: Once, while strolling the glittery window displays in this jewelry mecca whist on a Tinder (first!) date, le monsieur tried to buy a diamond bracelet for your dear Editor-in-Mischief, which her therapist took as a Very Bad Sign. (He claimed to be affiliated with Sarkozy and there were lots of reasons why it all didn’t work out but mostly one gets kicked out of Antifa, it is said, if they accept something from Van Cleef & Arpels on the first date…) Instead nip around the corner to one of our favorite coffee shops — Café Nuances — for a ~totally lit~ rose latte…ça déchire…
